The counselling III

We are talking about a model or qualities of an excellent counsellor. We are discussing principles of counselling, so that every one of us could help people with an advice or a suggestion. It is not enough to be good at teaching; it is not enough to point out all the wrong things in their lives. It is necessary to obtain the right qualities so that you can do it in an productive way.One of the ways we make ourselves qualified is to learn to listen to people, listen to their hearts and feelings; only then we can really help them.Besides, we must be ready to show the problem from a different perspective. It is not satisfactory to point out person’s problem or his or her mistakes; we must be able to highlight how his or her present lifestyle or approach to life has caused the problem.Today I would like us to look at another passage of Scripture:

«Listen now to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you: Stand before God for the people, so that you may bring the difficulties to God. And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws, and show them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do. Moreover you shall select from all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them to be rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. Then it will be that every great matter they shall bring to you, but every small matter they themselves shall judge. So it will be easier for you, for they will bear the burden with you. If you do this thing, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all this people will also go to their place in peace” (Exodus, 18:19-23).

Amazing Scripture! We see here that Jethro not only indicated the predicament to Moses, but also have very effective and sound solution. Many people are only „specialists” in pointing out the problems in other people’s lives, but they are no good in showing a way out. Jethro wasn’t one of them. Before giving any advice he had thought things through. All of us need to have the qualities he possessed.People that only indicate the problem without presenting a solution to it are not good counsellors. Before you ever step into a situation, first think what you can offer. Think about ways to help this person in a real and practical way. People need to see that you are interested not in criticizing them, but in helping them to solve the situation.If a person sees that you only want to point out the faults and mistakes, then he won’t be open to you and won’t receive your advice, even if it is good and right. For this very reason Jethro first showed that he wants to ease Moses’ burden that is doing harm to Moses’ health.Jethro wanted to make things easier for Moses. This is the purpose of every godly counsellor; that is the biblical standard for a good counsellor. Counsellor or advisor should be a person who desires to lighten the burden of a particular person’s life not just criticize or judge.God says in the Bible that He strikes, but He also binds up and heals the wounds.

«..in their affliction they will earnestly seek Me. “Come, let us return to the Lord; for He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up» (Hosea, 5:15- 6:1).

It is very important for you and me to learn to treat other people right. When attempting to talk to them and help them we cannot just tell what they are doing wrong; it is essential to not only point out their faults and underline their wrong understanding of things, their approach to the situation, but also to show an alternative approach and possible solution of the problem. Otherwise we will only be hurting them. As counsellors we must not worsen the situation making it harder for the people.God bless you!Tomorrow we will talk about another quality of a good counsellor.Pastor Rufus Ajiboye