The counselling IV

Good morning, dear friends!

I thank God for you and pray for God to strengthen you on this day and give you a new hunger for the Word of God.

We have talked about counselling and about a model of a godly counsellor using the example of Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law. Today I want to wrap up this theme by showing one more quality a good counsellor needs. This quality was obvious in the character of Jethro. Let’s remember those qualities we already talked about: first, the ability to listen to people; second, the capability to show the existing situation from another standpoint – from God’s standpoint; third, the ability not only to point out a problem or a fault, but also to suggest a solution.

Let’s talk about another quality Jethro possessed: he did not pressure Moses to accept his advice. We can see in the Scripture, which I would like us to look at:

«If you do this thing, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all this people will also go to their place in peace» (Exodus, 18:23).

We can see here that Jethro did not demand that Moses accept his advice, but gave him a chance to make a choice himself. The phrase “if you do this thing” means that even if Moses did not listen to Jethro, he would not be upset. So he knew he could not take it personally if Moses chose a different way.

Also, we see in Jethro’s attitude that Moses was given freedom to listen to his heart and understand whether God tells him to take Jethro’s advice or not. Thus, Jethro gave place to God to work through his advice. Jethro did not play God to Moses. He wanted Moses to have a chance to think, pray, consider what he had told him, and only then make decisions.

A true advisor does not pressure people to do precisely what he says. His goal is to show the way, to point out possible solutions and offer a person an opportunity to make the decisions on his own. Responsibility for the decision lies with the person who has made it. A counsellor does not carry the responsibility for people’s decisions, and he cannot get offended when people do not listen to the advice he has given. The main thing for a counsellor is to do his part in explaining the situation to a person, showing it from God’s perspective, and presenting possible solutions. The rest is in the hands of the person.

We see that all these qualities are very necessary for us to be able to help people and to be qualified counsellors. It is important to develop these characteristics. If you are trying to offer something to people, especially when dealing with church leadership, family, or work relationships, then give them time to think and to pray about what you said, so that they can make their own decisions. If someone refuses your offer or advice, it is not your fault and you should not get upset. You need to understand that you have done your part and that the other person has a right to make his choice, because full responsibility for his actions lies on him, not on you. That is why it is important for us not to pressure anyone with our ideas. That would be the wrong type of counselling.

God bless you!

May His wisdom assist you every day to have the right influence on the people God has entrusted to you.

Pastor Rufus Ajiboy