The counselling

Dear friends, I bless you on this day and pray that the Lord would prosper the work of your hands. May He help you fulfil your dreams and reach your goals.

Today I would like to share a word about counselling people and I would like to base the principles of counselling on the life of Jethro.

Every one of us tries to help people by giving advice or recommendations. There are moments in life when we want to reveal certain truths to people so that they could make right choices. Every one of us needs counsel and guidance. It says in the Bible:

 «Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counsellors they are established» (Proverbs, 15:22).

But it is crucial to understand that giving of advice and counselling needs to happen in a proper way, because it will determine whether people accept our help or not, whether they will be helped or we will worsen the situation.

«So when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit, and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?” And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a difficulty, they come to me, and I judge between one and another; and I make known the statutes of God and His laws» (Exodus, 18:14-16).

In this passage of Scripture we can see what Jethro’s attitude was towards Moses. He had enough wisdom to first ask Moses about the meaning of his activities. A wise counsellor or advisor must be someone who has learned to listen to others.
Jethro did not rush into giving advice to Moses until he obtained a fuller understanding of the essence of things and the core of the problem. Jethro wanted to get to the bottom of things; that is why he first gave Moses an opportunity to speak. He did not start teaching Moses right away about the proper and more effective ways of dealing with people. The first thing a true counsellor will do is to turn listening ears to people who have found themselves in difficult situations, discern their hearts and feelings, and try to understand the nature of their problems. And only afterwards would he try to give some advice.
That is why today I would like to ask some important questions to those who want to help people: Are you good at listening? Do you have a desire to first understand a person’s heart, hear the cry of his or her soul, and understand his or her pain and suffering, before teaching or counselling them? Maybe you are moved by just one desire – to lecture everyone about everything? If that’s the case with you, then you won’t be able to help anyone and people will not feel free to reveal their problems and needs to you.
Tomorrow we will continue on the topic and will learn another important quality of a good counsellor.

Be blessed!
Pastor Rufus Ajiboye